My hand turned me down
he wants to bone in the snuggie
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize