I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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