shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Success! We fucked roommates!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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