Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I know her cup size but not her name....
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
