I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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