I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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