Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
