dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
