winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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