a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
