whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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