I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
