im having a threesome with these popsicles
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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