It's Friday. Sex?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
