what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I can't put those talents on a resume
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
