It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
two words...techno handjob
You're like the curious george of whores
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
