If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Where is the hickey?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
this is an emotional support booty call
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
