Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
