never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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