needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
