You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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