we're blogging at a bar
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Your penis caused this!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
