you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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