One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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