How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
