i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
