Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
