Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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