You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
