3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
More tranny stories later!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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