I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
