I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
