I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
