I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I still have a little drunk in my system
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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