Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
