why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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