went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
