Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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