Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
