she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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