These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
