Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize