he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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