I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
well most of my day revolves around power hour
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
