ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize