You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize