yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
