i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
