just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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