i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
