I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
