help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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