you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize