Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
