I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
