so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
His hands were made for my vagina.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
