8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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