Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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