the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
