When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
