Cold hands, warm shart.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
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