Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
