I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize