I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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