apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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