i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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