what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
