I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
