Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize