Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I lost the right to judge tonight
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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